Why Is Breaking Up So Hard To Do – 5 Reasons & Advice
Breaking up is never a good feeling. It’s hard, especially in instances where real love or feelings are or were involved.
Being propelled into a breakup can create mental and physical stress.
Below are 5 reasons why breaking up is hard to do. We’ve also included some advice that may help you get through your breakup.
1. You still love the person we are breaking up with
Sometimes breakups are the result of a mutual decision to part ways. Usually when this happens, at least one person, if not both individuals, will still have love for the other. This is the power of love. You breakup with someone because you were not totally compatible, but because you have so many physical and emotional memories that were made with that person, you still hold love for them in your heart.
Although it may be difficult at first, one of the best ways to get through this is to move on. After you have determined that you and the person are no longer good for each other, accept the breakup, and move on. Try to keep yourself occupied. A good way to do this is by socializing with others such as friends or family. You want to be around people who can help you take your mind off of the situation. Eventually, you will meet someone else who will take your mind completely off of that person.
2. You have invested too much in the relationship
Lets face it, in relationships, a lot of energy, effort, time and even money is invested. Imagine being in a relationship for 25 years and then calling it quits. Over that period, you have had 5 children, bought a house or two together, and spent countless dollars on each other. Let’s not forget the personal time spent together which cannot even be calculated. It’s hard to breakup when so much has been invested.
However, while you factor in all that you have invested, the question is, what about your future. Is staying in an unhealthy relationship worth the mental and physical stress that you will encounter. Your mental health and well-being are priceless. Try not to think too much about what you have lost or stand to lose but instead, look towards what you may gain in the future.
3. You fear being alone
The fear of being alone will cause a person to stay in a bad relationship. This is especially the case when one partner relies heavily on the other. For example, if a person has gotten used to their partner cooking and cleaning, and helping out tremendously with the kids etc., they feel that they will not be able to make it without them. If this is you, even a trip to the grocery store alone may scare you because you are not accustomed to doing it by yourself.
This brings to mind the age-old phrase that grandma would say when you would tell her that you wanted someone to help you do something. That is, “Child you were born by yourself”. The reality is independence is not a bad thing. Don’t let the fear of being alone cripple you. Make up in your mind that this is happening and whatever you think that you cannot do alone, learn how to do it. Use YouTube or Goggle if you need to, just get it done!
4. You don’t want to upset friends and family
We wonder how the kids will react to the breakup. How will it affect them? We don’t want to upset the kids. Then there are the in-laws and other family and friends that stand to be upset by the news.
Especially where children are involved, we tend to postpone breakups time and time again because we do not want to create heartache for others. All the while, our own mental health and happiness deteriorates.
While we would like to avoid upsetting people we love, we have to break the news to them in a way that they clearly understand why this has to happen. In the case of kids, assure them that you will do everything you can to make the change bearable for them. Never use this reason for an excuse to stay in a relationship. Put your own feelings first.
5. You worry about what people will say about you
What will people say? The powerhouse couple that was seen as the perfect couple, and now this. What would the latest workplace gossip sound like? What will the church members say? And don’t forget the neighbors.
Listen, don’t let anyone interfere with your happiness. Most of us have been there at some point or in some fashion. Follow your heart and don’t worry about the noise. Just like other things that have gone wrong, this will also pass. The neighbors will soon forget about you when another hot topic emerges. Don’t let the fear of what people think stop you from finding happiness. Your sanity will thank you for it.
If you enjoyed this article, please share it with others!