5 Topics That Should Be Discussed Before Marriage
Marriage is the start of a journey that should last a lifetime.
Before embarking on this journey, there are several things that couples should talk about. These things could be viewed as a few housekeeping matters before beginning a new life together.
Keep in mind that the discussions are intended to be for the long-term betterment of the marriage.
Listed below are 5 important topics that should be discussed.
Finances
Financial issues can essentially lead to the demise of a relationship.
Couples should discuss how they intend to combine and manage their money before marriage. Disclosures of current debt should be made as well as spending habits. All income sources, shared bank accounts, overhead bills, and fees, including those associated with kids, should be discussed. No secret accounts should be withheld.
Determining whose salary will cover which aspects, what the monthly budget will be, and how savings and investments will be handled, should all be a part of the conversation.
Personal History
If you embark on a marriage with secrets about your past, you are off to a bad start. Keeping secrets will only lead to someone getting hurt in the future.
Demonstrate trust by letting your partner know any pertinent details about aspects such as past relationships, family issues, or even addictions you may have or have had. Other things that should be brought to the forefront include health and criminal issues.
Children
This may seem like a conversation that could be held later in a marriage, but you may be surprised at what this conversation will sound like later, if you wait. Sometimes, couples can have completely different views about having children. One partner may only want to have 1 child while the other desires to have 2 or 3. Then, there are those who may have no desire to have children at all.
Discussions about having children can be deal breakers for a marriage. You would want to discuss this aspect just to ensure that you and your partner share the same or at least similar thoughts about having children. During these conversations, parenting styles should also be discussed to ensure that a mutual or acceptable set of parenting guidelines, including discipline etc., are established and accepted by both partners.
In-Laws
When couples wed, an entirely new family is inherited. New relationships are formed including those of family and friends. The in-laws are usually at the top of the extended family list. You should tell each other what the in-laws are like, so each partner knows what to expect. Discuss if there are any family traditions including ones centered around holidays and travel.
These discussions will help to better prepare each partner for what to expect and it also ensures that in-law traditions do not clash with those of your own. We all know how the in-laws love their respective relative; it would also be beneficial to discuss in-law boundaries during this time.
Religion/ Beliefs
Religion may seem like something that would not carry a lot of weight in a marriage, but the truth is, it does.
It is important that couples discuss their religious status or beliefs to determine if there are any differences, and how much. For instance, if one partner is a church going person and the other has no interest in going to church, this could be a problem. Or if one partner is of a particular faith which is opposed by the other, here lies another possible problem.
Religion plays an important role for many. For this reason, you would want to ensure that you are comfortable with each other’s religion or beliefs.
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